Someday
by Regularamanda
Summary: What Jack was thinking after Sam's engagement, Sam's thoughts after her break up, Kerry's thoughts. More to be added.
1. His Someday

**Set sometime after **_**Affinity**_

**Someday**

He sat alone at his cabin with a bottle of guinness his only company. Why did this always happen? His being alone. It seemed like be was meant to be alone, his destiny if you will. And to always be without the people he loved the most. First Charlie and now…Sam. She had said yes to that shrub Pete. She had had two weeks to think about it and after the thinking she had said yes. Pete was the luckiest man alive and he probably didn't even know it. He had Samantha Carter's heart and that was the thing that Jack O'Neill had never had the right to have…and the one thing he wanted most. He knew he had never been able to have a personal relationship with her but he had been content to see her everyday at the SGC.

Now everyday he would see her smile and would know that her smile wasn't meant for him. He no longer had a right to her smile or her heart. Jack could live without a lot of things in this life but he needed her smile like he needed water and air. And now every time he would see her smile, knowing that he hadn't been the one to cause it, his heart would die a little each time.

He once said that he would rather die then lose her and he had always assumed that if God forbid he lost her it would be to death, not another man. He guessed he really shouldn't be surprised though. She was an extremely attractive woman and she deserved a life outside of work. God knew she saved the earth countless times, she deserved something in return for it. Like a husband and kids. But that knowledge didn't stop his heart from being blown to smithereens.

She had shown him the ring and had said 'if things had been different' and he had answered her in a way that made it seem as if things had been different and Charlie would have lived. But in reality he had taken that to mean if their military ranks didn't stand in the way. There were so many things he had wanted to tell her, to do, like kiss her senseless, but he remained silent, and didn't say those words to her. His whole world had seemed to tilt on its axis when she had shown him the ring. He had known that she had been dating for over a year but he hadn't thought it had been _that_ serious.

Her feelings for him obviously had changed since the Za'tarc testing, his on the other hand had only intensified. But he wanted her to be happy and even if he could, he wouldn't burden her with his feelings. Especially not now that she was in love and engaged to someone else.

They had always seemed to gravitate towards each other, in two other alternate realities and when they had had their memories stamped. A part of him had always held out the hope that if it could happen those times it could certainly happen again. But that hope was gone now, left in its place was a dull and persistent ache.

Jack also knew that he would get invited to her wedding when it came around. And as much as he'd want an excuse to get out of it, he knew he'd go. And he'd put on the good and happy CO facade that he'd put on for the past year when he was around her and be happy for her. He knew she would make a beautiful bride. In the far reaches of his mind, at night right before he went to sleep when he was alone with just his thoughts he'd imagine what she would look like in a white dress walking towards him. That was out of the question though, and now she'd be walking towards another man.

He never really knew what had happened to cause her to get out into the dating scene. It had seemed like it had come out of nowhere. But one day she had just…started humming. And he'd known even from that day that his chances with her were diminishing considerably. He'd just never figured on the pain that he had been experiencing right now. The torture from Ba'al two years ago didn't even compare to the pain that was in his heart. At least Ba'al had meant to hurt him, but Carter had done in unintentionally.

How hadn't she known how he felt about her? He flirted with her enough, had been there always for her when she needed him. He'd never been good with feelings but he had thought she knew how he felt. He wasn't allowed to express it in words but he expressed it in so much more then that. He expressed it in looks and his actions. His actions spoke of a man in love with a woman. Like when he'd been desperate when she'd been stuck on the Prometheus last year. Teal'c had known how he feel about her, even if he had never said it, except of course for the Za'tarc testing incident. Hell Teal'c had even told him that Carter had been desperate when he had been stuck on that god damn moon.

Maybe she'd only felt infatuation for him. He'd thought she'd felt more. He'd been wrong obvious. This was actually his fault anyway. He never should have allowed his feelings for a subordinate to become this intense. He took the regulations seriously (most of the time) but he'd allowed his attraction for her in the beginning to grow to so much more. And now he was stuck with the pain, at his cabin staring at his lake not even having the heart to fish.

He loved fishing and for a woman to make him not fish…well that took a lot. But fishing reminded him of her. He'd invited her twice and she had turned him down. He had always hoped that sometime when she did agree that they'd be able to take their feelings to the next level. That being when he was retired or no longer in her chain of command. None of that was to be now and that's why he didn't have the heart to fish.

A small part of him wanted to dislike Pete. But he really couldn't. Pete was younger then him and could give her the life that he couldn't. Sam had chosen Pete and he couldn't fault her at all for that. She couldn't help who she loved and who she didn't. No it wasn't any of their fault.

He wanted her to be happy and if Pete made her happy he'd try his hardest to be happy for her. That's what love did. It wanted the other person to be happy, even if that person chose someone else. He'd tuck away his feelings for her, never let her see them again, never let her know how much he wanted her.

And then someday the pain would lessen and he'd be able to look at her without having the urge to kiss her. He'd be able to have a normal conversation without grinning like an idiot at her. Someday he'd be able to breathe normally around her. Someday he'd stop noticing when she wasn't by his side. And someday he'd be able to go to sleep at night without dreaming of her. But all the somedays in eternity wouldn't be able to take away his love for her.

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_Author's note- Thanks for reading and if you liked it let me know!_


	2. Her Someday

_Author's Note- Okay so I caved and wrote another Chapter to this story. Special Thanks goes out to Yol for wanting to see more of this story and for Gateseeker2 for giving me inspiration to write this chapter!_

**Set During **_**Threads**_

**Her Someday**

Sam knew that she had made a mistake. She had that same feeling inside of her that she always got when something really bad was about to happen, like when the bad guys said they were going to attack. And she realized she really shouldn't have that kind of feeling when she thought about her impending wedding and marriage.

It wasn't that she didn't love Pete, she did. But it wasn't how he deserved to be loved by the woman who he was going to be spending the rest of his life with. She loved him, but she wasn't _in _love with him. No she was in love with a man who she could never have because he was her superior officer. And who didn't love her back.

When Sam had showed him the ring a few months before, she had expected him to show some emotion, even try to talk her out of it. But he didn't. He actually encouraged her to say yes. And Sam had assumed that he didn't love her anymore, because if he had, he never would have let her do something so stupid like get engaged to Pete. He would have told her not to go through it, to wait or even kiss her (okay so he couldn't do that, not with the security cameras, but a girl can hope right?), but he had said nothing. Hadn't given her the slightest hint that he still felt anything for her. So she had said yes to Pete.

When she started to feel that she had made a bad decision, she had gone to his house and was going to admit that she still had feelings for him, but then Kerry had shown up. Her heart had wanted to break. Here she had been about to spill her guts to him and he had moved on.

There conversation would have been interrupted anyway because it was then that she had found out that her father had been ill and was slowly dying. But before he had passed away he had told her that she could have whatever she wanted to be happy, and she had known he was talking about Jack. She hadn't had the heart to tell him that he had already moved on. So she had told him that she was happy, which in a sense had been a lie because she would never be truly happy till she was with that one man she loved. Jack had come to comfort her before her dad had died and he said he would be there for her for always. She knew even if she did fix her mistake, he still couldn't give her always.

But Sam had made a mistake and she went and corrected it, had broken up with Pete. Had given him back the ring. And now here she was alone again. (Not that she was complaining though, she'd rather be alone then in a relationship she didn't really want.) Jack was still dating Kerry and they were still in the same chain of command, there wasn't anything that could happen between them. Sam was in the same position that she had been in 4 years ago.

Maybe Someday they could be together, but it didn't seem like someday was going to be anytime soon.

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_Author's Note- Thanks for reading! If you liked it let me know and the last part will be up in a few days._


	3. They Deserve It

_Author's Note- Sorry this took so long, and this was supposed to be a three chapter story, it's just been made a six chapter story._

**Set during **_**Threads**_

**They Deserved It**

Kerry Johnson should have known what she was getting herself into when she decided to go on a date with a General. She had at first wondered why a man like himself was single. And then she had found out, the regulations. Jack O'Neill had strong feelings for his 2IC she was sure of it. And the air force was keeping them apart. She did wonder though why if Colonel Carter felt the same why she was marrying another man. Colonel Carter had came to see Jack at his house and Kerry always did have bad timing, and had come out of the house at the worse possible moment it seemed

They had been about to talk about something and then Colonel Carter had gotten a phone call that her father was ill and had rushed off. That's when she knew that Jack had feelings for Colonel Carter.

He'd been distracted after the Colonel had left. And he had seemed sad, like something worthwhile could have happened and it didn't. He'd been quiet too. Kerry had been confused at first at why he had been like that but then it had clicked.

The Colonel had been going to say something about her and Jack's relationship and she had walked right on in, effectively giving away that she and Jack were dating. Jack hadn't been wanting to date her, he had been wanting to date his 2IC.

She'd only been dating him a few weeks and though he was significantly older then her, he wasn't like most of the men she meet. But she had done the right thing and broken it off with him. It was for the best and she really hoped it worked out. After all the stuff that she knew that Jack and Colonel Carter had been through, she hoped that they got their happy ending. They of all people deserved it. And if they both did have feelings for each other and they were hiding them so that they could both remain in the same command, then they had her utmost respect.

She couldn't imagine being around Jack every day, and loving him and not being able to be with him. She had liked him yes, but she hadn't _loved _him. And quite possible someone else did. All she knew was Colonel Carter was a stronger woman then she was. Being able to be around Jack all the time, knowing that with the regulations in place she couldn't have him.

Maybe that's why she was engaged to that other man. Because she couldn't have Jack, so maybe she settled for someone she could have a life with. If that was the case then that was a huge mistake. A love like that, that thought more of what was for the greater good then what was for the good of themselves didn't just disappear overnight. And Colonel Carter must be blind not to be able to see how Jack felt.

She sincerely hoped that someday those two could find a way to be together. They deserved it.

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_Author's Note- Thanks for reading, and if you liked it let me know! The next ones will definitely be posted sooner then this one was. Also I apologize for the shortness of the chapter._


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